My Experience of Pregnancy, Birth & Postpartum Care
A Testimonial Blog by Luan Woods
written by a postpartum care client of Brittany, creator of blissful womb care
(published with permission)
During my pregnancy, I did all the research I could to have a healthy pregnancy and be well prepared for birth.
As soon as I knew I was expecting I asked if Brittany would be my doula. I took classes for natural birthing, breastfeeding and newborn care. I followed all the advice and emphasis on the importance of taking care of myself, for the baby, tracking all of my vitals and nutrition. I went to weekly visits to care providers to ensure baby was well.
After losing my first pregnancy at 7 weeks, this time around I knew I wanted to do things very different.
I also knew I would need a higher level of support. I switched from family physician care to a midwife and began working with Brittany. Both gave me excellent support as I navigated an extremely rough pregnancy (mentally and physically) and eased my husbands mind with information.
Everyone was so excited, always asking how I was feeling, giving advice (often unsolicited, and sometimes really helpful) and resources. As the due date grew closer, more and more people were curious about when the baby would be born. I received so many gifts for my baby, all of which I’m grateful for. People were focused on caring for me and baby, but most of the emphasis was directed towards birth and the excitement of a newborn baby.
Almost no one talked about what to expect Postpartum, especially in the event of a cesarean.
Really the only advice that I got about postpartum was that I wouldn’t be sleeping, so I better hurry up and sleep now. There couldn’t be a more useless piece of a advice for a woman who has to get up 15 times a night to pee, suffers from heartburn and needs a team of men to help her roll over in bed, not to mention the relentless dance party her baby is hosting each night.
Nothing prepared me for the reality of what Postpartum is like for many women, myself included…
There’s supposed to be a “village”, but for most people there is a lack of postpartum care and acknowledgement for how challenging birth and postpartum are…
(Trigger Warning for Birth and Postpartum trauma)
No matter the birthing experience, there is massive trauma on the body. You spend 9 months growing a human inside your body, and then it is birthed either through your pelvis and vagina or through your belly, in a fraction of the time it took to nurture and grow inside you.
You go from a massively expansive state in the body during pregnancy to empty once the baby is born and milk production begins.
After birth, the body has a massive wound that needs to heal in the uterus from where the placenta was attached to the uterine wall, as well as any other wounds that occurred during birth like from the 7 layers of tissue, muscle, etc. being cut through for a cesarean, tearing of any degree from a vaginal birth, the toll of interventions on the body, emotional healing that takes time to process, and so much more.
Your organs are re-adjusting and moving back into their original place. Hormones are out of whack. Milk is coming in. Your body is in overdrive working on healing, producing, and adjusting.
If you have a cesarean, now you’re recovering from major abdominal surgery, on pain meds and exhausted from the feat of birth alone. All of that should be more than enough to “need” support (in the eyes of our current culture).
Following any surgery or injury on the body there are strict instructions for rest, physio, support and nourishment, but all of that seems to be forgotten when all the same is true and required following birth of any kind.
Then you're handed a baby, sometimes while you're still paralyzed from the waist down, that solely depends on you to survive.
The nurse walks out and you and your spouse are left alone in a room with this tiny human. Then awhile later the nurse you’ve known for 5 minutes starts manhandling your breast to help your baby latch because you can’t physically sit up.
Where is the village that everyone says it takes to raise a child?
If you're lucky you have some friends and family members that are willing to stop by and offer to cook a few meals or hold the baby while you shower. Or you have a flood of visitors who want to see the new baby as soon as you are home, with no regard of the intensity of the experience you are having days after giving birth.
The “village” usually disperses within a couple weeks, leaving you alone with a tiny human to process the new chapter of life you've just entered, possible birth trauma, grief, extreme exhaustion, massive shifts in your relationship and physical pain.
Oh, and although there’s a handful of check ups for baby in the first 6 weeks, you only get one 6 week check up to clear you for physical activity like getting back to the gym and sex. No more checking your vitals to see if you're lacking anything. After all, the baby is getting everything they need from you, so as long as they are growing and thriving no need to worry about anything or anyone else... right? Other than that, you can figure it out.
“Moms do it all the time with no support, what’s the big deal?” is how Moms are gaslit all the time.
Mom is left in the dust. Dad has to get back to work to provide. Mom goes into survival mode. All the while feeling the pressure of being a good mom, breastfeeding or bottle feeding, sleep training or not, all of the opinions and suggestions without any compassion or understanding. Feeling the weight of judgement, it’s all so heavy and hard.
But imagine having this kind of support to hold space and nourish you through it all…
Imagine having someone come into your home to cook you warm, nourishing, nutrient dense food.
Imagine someone who is there to provide a safe, comforting space for connection and all you’re moving through, who really SEES you and who is there for YOU.
Imagine someone who can be a gate keeper if needed, to uphold boundaries and support with communication, to your partner, your baby, your family, etc. Someone who will help you stay grounded and support you with nervous system regulation. Who can guide you through those tough first weeks of "figuring it out" without judgement or attachments.
Imagine someone who creates and holds the space for you and baby to rest peacefully in bed, with snacks, water, warmth and any needed supplies delivered right to the nightstand.
Someone to hold the baby to give your sore neck, back and arms a break, who also comes with a backpack of supportive, healing modalities and years of experience teaching yoga. Imagine having another set of hands to take baby when they just won't settle, when you’re exhausted and falling asleep on your feet.
Imagine someone bringing you snacks and water while you’re tied down breastfeeding, having someone to keep you company when you’re feeling lonely, helpless, exhausted and defeated. Someone to listen to you when you’re having hard emotions processing this time, birth trauma, grieving your old self or to release any fears.
Imagine your partner feeling supported because he’s not your ONLY supporter, because he is also sleep deprived, stressed, learning how to care for a newborn with you and getting to know you, his partner, as a Mom in this new way.
Imagine having someone to listen to your partner when he's feeling helpless that there's only so much he can do for baby, and for you. Imagine having someone who can hold space and bring partners together as they learn the parenting flow together.
Imagine having someone to provide resources and referrals for additional care for you to continue healing through physiotherapy, massage, meditation, nutrition, hormones, mental health, and other hands on care.
Doesn't that sound like a lovely way to experience postpartum?
I received all of this from Brittany during my immediate Postpartum and throughout the first year. It was the most wonderful experience I ever could have hoped for. I feel so grateful and privileged to have had that kind of support available to me and my husband. Now, whenever I see a birth announcement I want to shout it from the rooftops to plan this for postpartum.
I can confidently say you won’t EVER regret receiving postpartum care from Brittany, any care from her really.
It will be the absolute best decision you make for you, your baby, and your partner. If you truly want the best for your baby, you will take your own care seriously, because how we care for ourselves directly impacts the health and wellbeing of our children.