The Rite of Passage from Maiden to Mother
The 3 Stages of a Rite of Passage
&
How to Integrate and Complete the Rite of Passage with Birth Storytelling and the Closing of the Bones Ceremony
The Rite of Passage into Motherhood
Cross-culturally, since the beginning of time, Rites of Passage have been recognized, honored and celebrated by gathering in community, in ceremony, to acknowledge the transition from one phase of life to another.
This is to acknowledge the inner transformation of change that comes through initiation, that who you once were is no longer, and who you are becoming is yet to be fully seen.
There are 3 stages of a Rite of Passage
In the context of the transition from Maiden to Mother, they are as follows…
1st Stage - Separation/Ending (Pregnancy)
You are preparing to leave everything behind as your old way of life, the Maiden you have been/were prior to pregnancy, metaphorically dies. The unknown awaits. Relationships and lifestyle changes, your body goes through massive expansion, and your old identity starts to fall away.
This is very confronting for many, especially with the first pregnancy, however the experience can be confronting with each pregnancy thereafter. No matter how many children you have, you will go through this process in some way, shape or form with each pregnancy.
2nd Stage - Transition/Initiation (Birth)
This stretches you to maximum capacity - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - often past what you thought would be possible. You are at the peak of your expansion. Birth is a portal that forever changes you, however you birth your baby. It signifies the transition to Mother.
Although you may have external support from care providers, a doula and your partner, you go through this internal process alone. You are between worlds. New life comes in, but you're in between your old identity as a Maiden, and new identity as a Mother.
3rd Stage - The Return/New Beginning (Postpartum)
As your baby is a newborn, so too are you. As you come back from the initiation of birth, how you view the world and your capacity in how you show up, tend to yourself, your family and community is forever changed.
Your old identity is no more, and your new identity as a Mother begins to emerge. Now is the integration process of your initiation, which is also very confronting. Without Community Support, it’s easy to feel lost, overwhelmed, and like you’re floundering in your Postpartum and Motherhood journey. You weren’t meant to go through this alone.
In order for a Rite of Passage to be complete, it requires social recognition of these 3 stages.
This has been severely lacking for generations, leaving the Rite of Passage process incomplete for most Mothers, who are expected to pick themselves back up and continue on with life. This lack of social recognition is a huge disservice to Mothers and the sacredness of their journey into Motherhood.
A completed Rite of Passage leaves a Mother feeling seen, empowered, supported, and connected to her inner wisdom as she moves through the ebbs and flows of Motherhood.
Birth Story Telling, including
Preconception to Postpartum
Everyone has their own unique journey into Motherhood, and sometimes it doesn’t go according to plan. Even if it does, there are many things from your conception, pregnancy, birth and postpartum journey to reflect on.
Birth Story Telling is about creating a safe, sacred space for you to reflect on your journey from a new or different perspective, and to draw out wisdom in your evolution from Maiden to Mother. To complete the Rite of Passage, this must be integrated into your Postpartum time.
This isn't about reliving trauma or negative experiences, rather about remembering the moments you felt empowered and connected to your inner knowing. This is how you harness the wisdom that will be your guidepost in Motherhood.
In my Community Care Package, I create a safe space to hold you as you share all that is ready to be processed and released.
To honor the Maiden, you begin sharing about before conception, the journey through pregnancy, and reflecting on any major events that happened during these times leading up to birth.
Then I invite you to share about your labor, birth, and early postpartum. You are the guide while I hold the space for you to release and reflect on whatever comes through, witnessing you with compassion and love.
After you feel complete, we do a grounding practice, preferably on the Earth, and reflect on what has shifted, what feels different, and any wisdom that has come through.
I then guide you through a Birth Story Integration Meditation to release negative experiences, and return you to the power of your Birth Energy as an anchor point for your mothering journey going forward.
The Closing of the Bones Ceremony
Closing of the Bones is a cross-cultural Postpartum Care tradition using a long shawl or scarf crossed and held tight across the body as a way to physically and energetically close the body after the expansive state of pregnancy and birth.
It is also an incredibly healing practice after recovering from an injury or illness, ending of a relationship, or to honor any major transition in your life. It’s an energetic and physical holding to come back to your center in honor of this new version of yourself that you are becoming.
I learned this practice through my teacher, Rachelle Garcia Seliga of INNATE Traditions, who practiced traditional midwifery in Mexico for years before she created INNATE Postpartum Care. The lineage of this tradition is through her mother-in-law, Clara Alfaro Peña.
**to learn more about the history of closing of the bones being a cross-cultural tradition, and how it supports postpartum care, read this blog written by rachelle garcia seligA**
The Rebozo (Mexican shawl) I use is fair trade and handmade by Mexican indigenous women. I'm honored to be granted permission to carry this wisdom and sacred practice forward into my community.
The Closing of the Bones ceremony is a safe, sacred container for a Mother to be held, nurtured, and release emotions around her pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience, even 30 years after birth.
It's a physical body care practice to "close" the body, as the hips and pelvis will stay in an open birthing position, creating pelvic instability, for years to come if additional pelvic and abdominal work aren't done postpartum.
If possible, invite your partner or another support person who you trust and feel safe with to join, holding the other end of the Rebozo as a symbol of recognition and acknowledgement of completion of your Rite of Passage from Maiden to Mother.
The Community Care Package may be the most healing and empowering offering of all my Postpartum Care packages. It’s most popular among mothers with children of all ages - babies to grown adults.
I would be honored to see you and hold you in recognition of completing the Rite of Passage from Maiden to Mother.